Birth Story Part 3: Why is Everyone Staring?

The foley was out - I was free of the dangling balloon between my legs and a little more dilated. I happily bounced around on my ball waiting to meet my next nurse. I would do anything to not lay in that bed at this point - it was the worst. The new nurse got the lowdown from my nurse friend and sent her on her way. I was feeling good and asked if I could shower. I was now bleeding after that lovely little procedure. That was a hard no from the new nurse. Alright, sister - your loss. You'll be the one all up in my biz-nass and I'm going on 3 days no shower. "I can get you some wipes and change your sheets, though." Oh goodie. I smiled and told her that would be great, even though I was frustrated. It was now Monday - I hadn't eaten anything, I hadn't showered, and we still didn't have a baby.

So we decided to go on our morning walk around the fourth floor. As I passed by the now empty rooms on our usual route, I was starting to feel like a long term guest at Labor & Delivery Inn. As we passed the nurses station every single person stared at me - a few glared, one looked shocked. I smiled then remembered I had a mask on and said in a cheery voice "Good Morning!". No one responded, they just kept staring. They must not have heard me. I made direct eye contact with one of the nurses that was glaring, nodded, and said "Hi!" again but louder. She went from a glare to a stare. Was my hospital gown open? Did I forget my mask? Fun fact, I actually did forget my mask on one of our walks the night before - the audacity! No one said anything to me though. Not only was I a long term guest, but I was beginning to feel like I was the one that had overstayed her welcome.

As we rounded the corner, I looked at my husband in my grinch voice and said, "tough crowd, tough crowd." I still had my humor. We double checked that my gown wasn't open and chatted about how odd that was as we walked. We had to stop a few times for the contractions, but once they passed I was good to go. We came back past the nurses station and decided to turn the corner to do one last stretch before we went back to the room. As we reached the end of the hall, I started to get the feeling something was going on behind me. I turned and noticed someone running towards us - it was my new nurse. When she got to us she very sternly said I was NOT allowed to be up walking around with my pitocin. I explained to her that my birth plan was to keep moving during my labor. She ignored me and just started talking at me explaining how cervadil is VERY different than pitocin. Active listening was not her strong suit. Obviously she hadn't looked at my chart yet because she would have noticed that I had been walking around on the same level of pitocin for the last 10 or 12 hours, but I let it go. And of course the song from Frozen popped into my head Let it gooooo Let it gooooo…

She then jumped right into the fact that I also shouldn't be disconnected from my monitors for so long. Oh more reasons to convince me to do what she wanted. I was no longer the star patient on L&D, but instead the troublemaker who had overstayed her welcome. I asked her how long she was comfortable with me being away from my monitor. Her response indicated that she wasn't, so I asked to be provided a portable monitor. She responded that we could, but we'd have to pay for it and insurance likely wouldn't cover it. Oh and everyone on the floor would have to have our bluetooth turned off because it might mess with the devices at the nurses station. Blah blah blah. She gave me every reason to do what she wanted me to instead of listening to me and what I wanted.

Oh but never fear when we got back to the room she said as long as I stayed hooked up the monitor I could walk around. I was beginning to get seriously irritated and felt chained to the monitors at this point. The cords allowed me about 5 foot of space so I could essentially take two steps and turn around. I'd be dancing in literal circles with my IV pole. She was insistent that I get back in bed; I was insistent that I take my luxurious baby wipe shower and that she could give me five more minutes. I quickly washed myself down with wipes and changed my gown before climbing back into the world's most uncomfortable bed.

As a sign of good faith that I would play by her rules upon her return, precisely 5 minutes later, I asked for clarification on exactly how long I could be unhooked from the monitor when I needed to go to the bathroom. That too was going to happen more than she would be comfortable with I'm sure. Since I couldn’t walk the halls I hoped my small window of time would give me and my IV pole an opportunity to move a little more freely throughout the room every couple of hours. The answer was 15 minutes technically, but she reminded me AGAIN that I had to stay connected to the monitors. It was apparent that I was making her uncomfortable.

It was now time to crank things up. She drastically turned the pitocin up and left the room, letting me know my doc would be by for rounds. I imagine she was thinking to herself let’s see you ask to get up and move around with your pitocin at a 14.

The pitocin was flowin, the clock struck 9 o'clock, and my doctor would be in soon. She turned gradually turned it up every time she came in. Well guess what the first thing the doctor said to me when he came in for rounds... go ahead and take a guess.. It wasn't "we're having a baby today!", it was a lecture on the importance of staying in my bed attached to the monitor as directed by my nurse. For shit's sake, I had done EXACTLY what she asked from the moment she notified me that she didn't want me walking the halls again. I didn't break any rules. I didn't test her. I respected what she said and was STILL getting lectured. I was already irritated and this wasn't helping. My new nurse was a grinch.

We watched the monitor to pass the time, the new nurse did NOT like that. Every time she’d come in to check on us she’d whip that computer screen towards her and out of my line of vision. And every time she left my husband got up and turned it back for us to see. I’m fairly certain that she despised us. It was now time to turn things all the way up to a 20.

Laying on my side made my contractions worse. She recommended we try dropping the foot of my bed and sitting straight up. Apparently that is why those beds are so uncomfortable - they break a part right where your butt is. After a while in this position I was growing more and more uncomfortable and the contractions were STRONG. The pitocin had been all the way up for a while, and I was in pain. Next thing I knew they were wheeling in the delivery cart and laying out a little pink and blue beanie for the baby. That is exciting. She was so certain I'd be having the baby soon. That was about the only thing I liked about her. I tried to switch up positions, but it was getting harder to monitor his heartbeat, so next up were the internal monitors. My doc wasn't available so the OB from the hospital would be placing them. Lucky number 7. I now could rank about 7 different individuals by the softness of their hands because I'd had that many people do cervical checks during my stay.

He conferred that I was at a 7. I asked about my pain options at this point and she said no to whatever it was that we were doing before. God forbid I upset the nurse and ask too many questions. I knew it was time to just have the epidural discussion. I felt like I had made serious progress and was now less concerned about the epidural slowing down my progress. I clarified with her that I did not want the catheter, and I had already had it approved by the charge nurse two shifts ago. New nurse said no that was NOT an option and I was misinformed. Whatever. I didn’t have the energy to argue with her. My OBGYN returned that afternoon and decided I was only about a 5 or 6. No one could agree on my dilation at this point. They decided to try turning things all the way up, then back down to about a 6, then up, and down.

45-ish minutes after the nurse called it was time to place the epidural and my husband was not allowed to be in there. I was told to let them know if I felt anything and that would help guide him because he was essentially going in blind. We were chatting and found out that all three of us in the room were from Illinois. I felt it to the right and notified him. He said he hit bone and was going to readjust. When he left he said to stay in front of the pain and to hit the button every 15 minutes as needed. Well my little nurse had a different plan. She instructed me to NOT hit the button UNLESS I told her first. I didn't need another lecture, so I played by her rules. Her reasoning was that I would be pushing soon, and I needed to be able to feel it. Wait why in the F*** did I get an epidural then?! My pain went from 0-60 real quick and of course she didn't get to me right away when I called. By the time she came in I was in tears, so she called the Anesthesiologist.

He came in and gave me a bolus of fentanyl and this time explaining pain like a snowball and how I needed to stay in front of it. Yeah yeah I get it but nursey nurse over here doesn’t. Another lecture. I wanted so badly to call out my nurse, but I was a good girl and stayed quiet thinking it would all be over soon. More time passed and I was in serious pain again. It felt just like last time, so I hit the call nurse the instant I had breakthrough pain. I talked to another nurse explaining my nurse's request to wait and she said she’d check. Still no nurse. So I checked the clock and hit the button. When she casually waltzed in about 15 minutes later I explained to her that I tried my best to wait and was following what the Anesthesiologist said especially since it felt exactly as it did the last time and that I would be hitting the button again. She again instructed me that if I kept hitting it then it would be harder for me to push and as I got closer to that stage I needed to be able to feel it. Aye aye captain, get out.

I was ready for time to move a little quicker, not only to get to the birth of our baby boy, but also to get a new nurse. I couldn't keep up with the pain and was on my side in the fetal position crying squeezing my husbands hand because it hurt so bad. The contractions would not let up and I was back to puking. The contractions were back-to-back basically the entire time I was there. Now that my nurse agreed with me and finally called the Anesthesiologist, we learned that he was in a csection and it would be another 30-45 minutes likely. I was puking, in pain, and it was terrible. Almost an hour later he swooped in and gave me another bolus of fentanyl. Relief.

It was finally time for another shift change. Thank the Lord.

Find out about my delivery experience in part 4...

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